


Meandering Ridiculous Domesticity

by dapatty, ermengarde



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Audio Format: MP3, Audio Format: Streaming, Collaboration, Gen, Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic Length: 10-20 Minutes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-07-10 06:34:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19901365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dapatty/pseuds/dapatty, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ermengarde/pseuds/ermengarde
Summary: In which Mikey is the MOST TIRED and someone is trying some unfucking of habitats.





	Meandering Ridiculous Domesticity

**Author's Note:**

> I should probably be more sorry for making Patty yawn, but she made me laugh SO MUCH with her cold-read of the first bit, yawn and all, and I am basically too delighted. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Cover Art by dapatty.

| 

## Streaming Audio

## Downloads

  * [MP3](http://dapatty.parakaproductions.com/2019/Meandering%20Ridiculous%20Domesticity.mp3) | **Size:** 7.2 MB | **Duration:** 00:11:56
  * [Mobile Streaming Click Here](http://dapatty.parakaproductions.com/2019/Meandering%20Ridiculous%20Domesticity.mp3)

  
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It's well past fuck-it o'clock in the morning and future-Mikey is _definitely_ going be consumed by hatred for current-Mikey when he has to get up to open the store in... uh... not enough hours, but right now he's comfy, nestled into the corner of the couch, cuddled under a soft blanket, feet up on Frankie's lap, watching movies in the dark. 

"Do you think Gee's got a laminator?" Frank asks, not looking away from the screen. To be fair, Keanu's wearing a henley and walking moodily over a bridge, it's a good shot.... but quite what the fuck John Wick has to do with office supplies is a mystery.

"Uhhhh." Mikey says, smartly. It turns into a yawn half way through, and Mikey gives into it, stretching out like a cat. It's fucking bliss. 

Frank switches the movie off. "Bedtime." he says, knocking Mikey's feet down from his lap. 

Mikey makes a disgruntled noise... Frank's right, but it doesn't mean he wants to move right now. "Whadda ya wanna know 'bout the lam-nator for?" MIkey tries to ask through another yawn.

Luckily Frank's got a lot of experience understanding sleepy-Mikey. "Well, I figured I should laminate Keanu."

That's, like, way beyond Mikey's capability to comprehend right now. Like, Frankie is the king... or possibly crown prince... of non-sequiturs (Gee is probably the king), but.. the fuck? Mikey makes a combination noise encompassing both his confusion and the supreme effort he has to make to get up off of the couch. Mikey is an energy saving genius. 

Frank kindly unwraps the blanket from where it was trying to swallow Mikey's leg and trip him up. "Well, Keanu's totally on my list- you know, like in _Friends_? And fucking look at him, that man is on my forever list, so I figured I should laminate it and make it official." Frank says as he stands up and helpfully steers Mikey around the obstacle course of their living room.

Mikey is not a complete philistine, he knows all about exceptions list and laminators and shit thank you very much, but if Frank laminates Keanu, then.... "No. Not allowed. Threesome." Mikey nods decisively and falls onto bed. It's so soft and warm, and mmmmh. 

Frank takes Mikey's glasses off. Frank is magic.

Mikey resents past him all fucking day. People are loud and annoying and stupid and he has to interact with them and it is the worst. He particularly hates the assgole trader guy who says "lack of sleep is what holds people like you back. If you got your full eight hours then you'd be able to get a real job". Which, actually what the fucking fuck? What people? And what's not fucking real about turning up, doing the work and getting paid? Judgy asshole.

By the time work is done, Mikey hates everyone almost as much as Frank does.

Mikey visits Gee on the way home, he has coffee for him, and Gee's in the middle of a big commission which means that he's probably forgotten how to human. Mikey likes to visit Gerard when he's working, so he can feed Gerard heroic quantities of coffee before the rats eat Gerard in his tomb of pizza boxes and half smoked cigarettes.

Except, when Mikey unlocks Gee's door, it pushes open easily and the stench doesn't rise up to meet him.... It's enough to stop Mikey in his tracks, open mouthed. The fuck? Like, mom would totally.still shudder and start cleaning immediately, but... Mikey can see the bed...

And it's MADE.

Mikey lives with Frank, the neatest freak any of them know (moms not withstanding), and _their_ bed isn't always made. Certainly not fucking hotel-level made. 

"Geeee..." Mikey calls out from the door. He's kind of afraid that Gerard's moved out and not told him, and the apartment now belongs to some guy called Brent who is going to come and beat Mikey to a pulp for breaking in.

There's a clatter from the bathroom and Gerard sticks his head around the door. "Hey Mikey!" Gerard grins. "Did you bring coffee? It's time for my ten."

"You're giving yourself coffee breaks now?" Mikey is _more_ than familiar with mandatory breaks, he spends half his day counting down to his ten so he can have a smoke and not have to speak to anyone, but Gerard works from home and can both smoke and not speak to people _all the time_.

Gee laughs. "No. The book lady, you know, from the book Frankie gave me for Christmas? She says no marathoning, and I've been cleaning the bath for fifteen minutes already."

Mikey can't remember what book Frank got Gerard for Christmas, but he's pretty sure it was supposed to be a joke one. He walks into the apartment and heads to the coffee pot, if whatever it is that Gee's doing sticks until tomorrow, he'll worry about it then. Right now, coffee is the only thing that makes sense, so he's going to make that and ignore everything else.

Even though his bloodstream must be half caffeine by the time Mikey leaves Gerard's, it's still not enough to keep him awake until Frankie gets home. 

"Mikeeeeeeeeeey Waaaaaaaaaaay." Frank is sing-songing at him and pulling his big toe. It tickles. "Waaaaaaaaakkkkkkkeeeee uuuuuuuuuup."

Mikey grunts and pulls his foot away from Frank. 

"Your neck will get sore, sleeping like that on the couch." Frank is such a smart ass. 

He's also right, Mikey realises as he sits up. He rolls out his shoulders and they feel stiff and grumbly. 

"Oh Mikey." Frank sits next to him on the couch. "Scoot to floor, me and my magic thumbs will fix you."

"We've had this conversation, Frankie, you're not really an elf." Mikey does slide down to the floor between Frank's legs though. Frank's thumbs are not properly magic, but his massages are pretty fucking good. "That was just a game,,,"

Frank digs his thumbs into a knot right at the base of Mikey's neck. "Gee drew me, totes makes it real."

Mikey laughs. "That's not...It's not like pics or it didn't happen, when it's a drawing, Frankie."

"Is. Otherwise nothing happened before, like, 1890 or whenever photos were invented, and we _know_ that's not fucking true."

Mikey sighs. Sometimes his life is very hard.

Mikey doesn't get back to visit Gee for a few days, there's an epidemic of calling out sick from work and Mikey's always put his hand up for extra shifts when he can get them, so he ends up working 16 hour days back to back and by the time he gets to his day off he's so tired he can taste colors, but he figures Gee must be pretty much out of coffee by now, and Mikey is a really a really fucking good brother... and... Mikey's tripping up over his own internal commentary inside of his own brain with exhaustion, but Gee. Coffee. Yes. 

Gee's apartment looks more... normal when Mikey opens the door. The pizza boxes are stacked pretty neatly, but they're there, and the cigarette ends are in an ashtray, more or less, but there are still nine hundred million of them, so... The bed's still made though. It's less weird than last time, but it's still weird.

Gerard is at his desk, sketching something, he doesn't even look up to see who's coming into his apartment. Mikey stumbles to the coffee pot, Caffeine. He needs caffeine.

Apparently Gerard also needs caffeine, because he rouses as soon as the coffee smell reaches him.

"Hey Mikey! Wanna see my new piece?"

"The... " Mikey thinks for a moment. His brain feels like maple syrup. "Ummm, financial thing commission?" It doesn't sound super exciting and Gerard looks more pleased than he usually is at corporate work. 

Gerard looks confused for a moment, which is nice, it's usually just Mikey that doesn't understand what the fuck is going on. "Uhh, no. I finished that _ages_ ago, this is from Frankie's book?"

Nope, just Mikey that's confused, then. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Gerard grins at him and holds up a poster board. It's a picture of Gee, the cartoon Gerard's been drawing of himself for years, standing on a tower of.... garbage? Something with pizza boxes and indeterminate things in it, anyway. Cartoon Gee has a crown, sitting at a jaunty angle, and he's holding a flag. 

"You..." Mikey looks at the picture again. "Conquered your garbage?" The pizza box piles would disagree with that, but... well, made bed.

Gerard laughs. "Nearly. I'm better than my _mess_."

"Ah." Says Mikey, wisely. He just. No. Smile and nod, and maybe things will make sense later.

After Mikey has slept for eleventy billion years, and he's finally relaxed on the couch without feeling like he's going to fall asleep on Frank again, he remembers to ask Frank what on actual earth it was that he got Gerard for Christmas. 

Frank puzzles for a minute. "Hmm. Oh yeah! I remember, it was this book about cleaning, I thought it was a joke, when I saw it in the store, because it had, like, fuck in the title, and, well, Gee, you know? Why?"

"He's been making his bed." Mikey says darkly.

"That's... new."

"Yes. And he says that he's better than his mess."

Frank splutters a laugh. "Well... he's not, like 100% wrong."

"You broke my brother."

Frank shakes his head. "I don't think I can claim that one...Domesticating you was quite enough work for me."

Mikey humphs. Everyone in his entire life is evil and mean and it's not fair. 

"Awh. I appreciate your efforts here Mikey, I know it doesn't come naturally to the WayBros." 

Mikey took the garbage out this morning and _everything_ , and Frank is laughing at him. Not. Fair. "Good."

Frank stands up. "And to show you how much I appreciate you, I'll make Mom's special marinara sauce for dinner."

Maybe Frank isn't completely mean. "Maybe Gee's not totally broken... It would be nice if rats didn't eat him."

Frank laughs. "Un-rat-eaten sounds good."


End file.
